so recently some of the people I live with went to this conference about getting married younger, and I mean I'm sure there are plenty of benefits to this, and I'm sure there are reasons and what-not, but honestly this whole thing just struck me as kinda really crazy sexist. I mean woman already have to do the vast majority of work around the house, and in raising children, and I can only imagine this will just accentuate this. Marrying young, before woman (or men) are established in their careers, makes it very easy to leave, or if not very easy, makes its easier than a job in the future. I was reading this fascinating book about feminism and the workplace, 'Lean In' and it was talking about how woman can do this thing where they 'leave before they leave' or when they are married, or in a serious relationship, they start thinking about having children, and they become more disconnected at work, do not take up new projects, because they think that they will be leaving to have a child, and once they do decide to have a child, they are at a lesser stage of the career, and so am the obvious, or somewhat obvious choice of partner to leave the workplace. With marrying earlier, I can only imagine this stagnation in the careers will take a much higher rate.
The other problem that this might present, is that it might make it very difficult to return to work, for the woman, after maternity leave, if they marry earlier, have children earlier, the woman may not have even started their career, or still be at a very low-level job, and will thus have no job to return to, seriously possibly depleting the amount of woman in higher levels positions, and destroying all the hard work many trailblazers have put in before us.
I also have a problem with the fact that honestly I don't know whether some people may be mature enough to get married young. If they have studied, for several years, they may not have even lived by themselves, or even away from things such as parents, or residential advisors, where people are cooking and cleaning and what not for them. Marriage doesn't so much mean love and what-not (although like I'm sure it's important) but to me at least it's about building your life with someone, and how can you build your life with someone when you barely know yourselves? There are so much more practical measures to a marriage, it's essentially finding someone who has both similar and different qualities to help you make smart and practical decisions, about buying a house, managing money, raising a child, and how to plan for the future and the rest of your life. These things require not just maturity in these matters, but also a deep knowledge of self, so that you know what you want to do with your life, you know the direction, and you know enough to choose a partner to guide you. Sure there may be some people in their young-mid 20's that might be capable of this, I'm specifically thinking of people who studied a trade, or did only none-limited higher education, so they have had some experience working, living away from home, and deciding what direction they want their life to take, other people can also do this, and I'm in no way saying that you can only get married after you finish your formal education, but I honestly think you need to have experienced independence (usually achieved by living away from home or by yourself) before you decide to commit your life to living with another person, if you have any chance of being happy in your marriage.
and then their is the whole human beings really need connection to other, but that connection I believe can be forged as young as 3 or as old as 80, the connection in marriage is so very important, but is in no way unique to marriage
Essentially I think that while marriage between young people can occasionally work out, I generally think it's not a very good idea, and especially should never be advocated
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